A year ago, wrestling with conflicting emotions over my mother's Alzheimers, I wrote
Letting Go
After bedtime, in the dark
gripping the edge of my crib
calling, calling, calling out
as I so often did:
“Mowie!
I want you!
I need you!”
Silence, looming silence,
mocks me in reply.
I raise my voice, bravely
mustering yet another try:
“Mowie!
I want you!
I need you!”
Hours later (so it feels)
exhausted by my fears
I let go, sit down,
find my blankie,
dissolving into tears.
* * * * *
Her frail unsteady body
barracades the door.
Voice breaking, eyes glistening
she pleads with me once more:
“I don’t want to let you go!”
I clench my jaw, soothe my voice
promise to come again.
Praying that when I return
she’ll remember who I am.
* * * * *
helpless, lost, and small
that cried-out voice still echoing
her sad, scared, lonely call:
“Mowie!
I want you!
I need you!”
I don’t want to let you go.
Silence, brooding silence
echoes in reply.
I’ve lived so long without you
but still can’t say good bye.
As I shared in my Day 1 post, I'm new to grief. I find myself alternately overwhelmed by it and running as fast as I can from it.
So today, I am thankful that I do not face any of this on my own. I am thankful that although “My flesh and my heart may fail...God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
* * * * *
13 Bloggers, 13 topics, 1 Great God:
Contributing to Family Income / 2 Better Than 1
The Fear of the Lord / Satisfied by Love
Using Time Wisely / Blessed Beyond Measure
Taking Care of Needy / Shadow Wonder
Using Money Wisely / Jennifer Sikora
Keeping an Eye on Home / Just a Glimpse
She can Laugh at the Days Ahead / faith filled food for moms
Clothed in Strength and Dignity / One thing I’ve Learned
Taking Care of Others/ 2 savvy gals
Being Creative / A Patchwork Mommy
Bringing Variety to Family / Karen Dawkins
Extending your Hand to the Poor / Women’s Fellowship House
Organization / Teaching What is Good
