One thing I've learned (the hard way!) is that there's no such thing as being "almost consistent" as a parent. Also, reinforcement errors don't automatically decrease as the kids get older. In fact, I think I got worse as my kids' verbal skills became more sophisticated; I failed to recognize subtle manipulation until it was too late!
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I shared a story recently at a MOPS group and by the number of nodding heads in the room, I knew this was familiar ground for mothers:
Nagging.
What to do when your child nags?
“Mom, can I please have a piece of candy from the GOO-DEE bag?”
“No, you already had cake and candy at the party. You may not.”
A few minutes later, she returned. “Can I just hold a piece of candy from the GOO-DEE bag? Can I just look at the pieces of candy? Can I count the pieces of candy?”
After several interruptions about the GOO-DEE bag, I caved in. “YES! You can have candy out of the GOO-DEE bag if you will just leave me alone!”
Noelle, 1. Mom, 0.
Nowadays when my kids nag for something, the answer is easy. “Nope, sorry we can’t do that. We don’t respond to nagging. Try again next time!”
When our children learn it’s counterproductive to nag, they eventually give up. And that’s a reason to celebrate and break open the GOO-DEE bag!
