Complaint Free: Who Me?

Over at To Love, Honor and Vacuum, author and speaker Sheila Gregoire is inviting everyone to join her in a Complaint Free Week.

When I browsed through A Complaint-Free World at Borders a couple of years ago, I was tempted to buy a dozen copies.

I figured I could give them (anonymously, of course!) to all the negative people in my life who drag me down with their never-ending complaints, criticism, and gossip.

Then I read a little further, and the author had the audacity to suggest that of all the negative people in my life, I might actually be the worst of the worst!



Disgruntled, I decided to take the challenge: 21 days with NO complaining. And to make sure I took it seriously, I told all my students what I was trying to do.

If you’re serious about becoming complaint-free, may I suggest that you ask a group of teenagers to hold you accountable?

Whooooo-weeeee! Did my students ever warm up to the “challenge” of letting me know when I complain. At one point during class, my bracelet changed arms five times in three short minutes!


Here’s the thing: each time was a total shocker to me! I was just talking away, not thinking any critical thoughts, and suddenly, “Mrs. G? Is that complaining I hear?”

We’ve discovered three “pet phrases” in my normal, everyday speech that act as warning signs: COMPLAINT AHEAD!

“I hate it when . . .

As a child, I was taught never to use the word “hate.” But here I am, tossing the word into conversation without a second thought! I think the phrase “I just hate it when that happens!” showed up in pop culture a while back (does anyone remember how?), and now I even use the phrase as a form of sympathy, “Don’t you just hate it when that happens?”



“It would sure be nice if . . .”

I started to argue that this is not a form of complaining, until a student pointed out that (a) I’m expressing dissatisfaction and (b) I tend to say this in a sarcastic tone, as in, "It would sure be nice if the dishes made it from the counter into the dishwasher!" Guilty as charged!

“Would you believe...?!?” or “You will not believe...!”

With such potentially positive lead-in words, you’d think that I regularly share great news. Sadly, I use these phrases to build suspense for an otherwise mundane “ain’t-it-awful” anecdote: "Would you believe the cashier at Wal*Mart didn't . . . "

How about you? Have you ever tried to go complaint-free? If so, what did you learn about yourself?

If not -- or if, like me, you're ready to try again -- join us this week!